MORE ON ATTITUDE

 How Do You Talk to Yourself

The old saying garbage in –garbage out does not apply here its more like garbage talk in and garbage talk stays in.

Your attitude which can be influenced by your own self talk and where you are emotionally at any given time.

What you do or better said the outcome can and are often directly related to the attitude you maintain.  This can include your performance at work, relationships, creativity, etc.

This of course is all dependent upon how you see yourself.  What you say about yourself unconsciously is based upon a lot of input from a variety of sources.  You can count on that there is a bunch of negative input.  Unfortunately that build up of negative input does affect us so you need to continually override it with better input that is relevant to whom you are and striving to become.  Additionally, the type of self talk that is part of your daily habits can either minimize stress and allow you to better deal with it or can assist you with being more miserable with the affects of stress and literally become a magnet for stress.

No put downs:

I don’t know about you but I catch myself in a moment of doing something idiotic like forgetting where I put something and then calling myself a derogatory name or putting myself down.

The problem with that is that puts a negative piece of information in my brain that reinforces previous bad material.  While we all do a lot of stupid things sometimes occurring daily, it would be far better to look at the behavior or incident as an individual action and not about you personally.  “That was a silly thing that happened” vs. “I can’t believe how stupid I am”

 

Consider keeping track by writing down each time you say something negative about yourself on a daily basis for one week.

You might be surprised just how frequent you are telling yourself or calling yourself a negative name.

Stop the Negative statement that is coming out of your mouth immediately when it occurs. 

Rephrase the statement that reflects the situation and not you personally.  Another idea is to simply say” well if I do it this way… it will be easier”.  In other words find words and phrases that are about fixing an issue and not about attacking you.

Replace Self-Limiting comments and thoughts with “Possibility Thoughts”

How can I do it vs. I can’t do it.

I have noticed how easy it is for people to place limits on what they can or cannot do.  Sometimes for children it just rolls right off their tongue,”I can’t do that.”  It might be as simple as doing a pushup as an exercise during a warm up.  Once the exercise is broken done into smaller components like lay on the floor with your palms of your hands also on the, straighten your arms, and get on the balls of your feet. Lower your chest to the floor by bending arms and repeat the first step of just straightening your arms and get on the balls of your feet. Suddenly it becomes doable.  The same instance could happen for an adult that is asked to speak in front of a group of people.  First, start with the subject material and begin taking a part and memorizing a section of material to be presented and say it out loud to yourself, repeat it until it is familiar, take another section of material and practice saying out loud.  Then ask friend or colleague to be present as you say it out loud.  After doing this several times it will become more natural.

The next step is to ask more people to listen as you say your presentation.

You end up becoming better skilled and comfortable that will create a successful experience and add to your abilities and reduce the stress and anxiety that you would otherwise have

It is clear that what you perceive is also to a great extent what you will believe.  Therefore, it goes back to the “I can do it” verses “I can’t do it” scenario.  The old saying if you believe it you can achieve it is true.  Often time’s people limit themselves based upon some previous notions, beliefs, or simply an attitude that either they have grown into, maybe allowed others to help create by their opinions or statements to us.

Negative self-talk does impose limitations upon us and affects what we think of ourselves which equates to our levels of self-esteem.

How we view ourselves and the world that we immediately relate to impacts plus or minus all we can and will accomplish period.

The book most children read growing up “The Little Engine That Could” addresses this concept so very clearly and all kids get it.  It’s only as we allow others with their attitudes and their opinions and self-doubt place a cage around us with negative self-limiting results if we permit it.

With negative self-talk comes an increased level of stress or in other words we interpret how much stress we have based upon our attitude.  People that have a high spirited & positive attitude will more than likely view a difficult circumstance differently than a person with a sourpus, negative attitude.  Without a doubt the person with a positive attitude will see a situation as less stressful or difficult to deal with than the person who sees his/her world with negative tones.

This is not to say ignore bad things or wishful thinking is the magic pill, it does mean we interpret and what we experience plus or minus to a great extent is based on how we see ourselves and what we say to ourselves vastly affects the end result and can open doors of possibilities or close the door in our face.

”I think I can, I know I can, I knew I would.”  Jeff Ellis

“Self-Respect is produced by inner triumphs, not external ones”

The Road To Character by David Brooke

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 202-9848.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

Another Tip To Overcome Fear Of Failure

Look at the fear as an opportunity

A fear in fact may be a signal that there is something that needs to be addressed.  Facing the fear with a positive attitude may result in advancing yourself toward a major goal or dream that you have.  Stretching yourself often is the best means for self improvement.

 Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, used to be afraid of public speaking, but now she makes her living by facing that fear and giving talks to thousands of people around the world.

So in the end, your fear may become your best friend when you turn it into something worthwhile thus rewarding to you.

Use these statements of affirmation daily to keep your reality of yourself in check and grow your belief in self.  Repeat theses daily to yourself.  It’s ok to say these out loud.  By doing so they become more powerful.

I will always love, respect, and believe in myself unconditionally

I will achieve whatever I set my mind to

I always find a way to succeed

I am capable of reaching my goal

I am successful and will live life on my terms

I see struggles as opportunities to reach my goals

Keep momentum.  Facing things we fear can be more than a struggle for sure.  There may be possible obstacles including you that get in the way.  Persevere and stay the course, remember the power of change is in your court. Do not by any means let it control you.

By taking on a task that takes you out of your comfort level will automatically raise your belief in self when you complete it no matter how small or trivial it may appear.

“Start a new beginning today and unleash your real potential and believe in who you really are and what you have the power to become.” ~ Jeff Ellis

“ What we believe about ourselves and about life becomes true for us”

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise  L. Hay

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

 

 

Tips To Multiply Your Positive Belief in Self Continue…

Take On Something That You Fear And Overcome It 

This may require small steps initially. The impact on your confidence will be amazing.

The first thing to do with a fear that is holding you back is to address what it is.  Well, you say I already know what it is and I don’t like it so leave me alone right?  Look at it this way, approaching your fear is not much different than that of any objective to accomplish.   You need to know what you are supposed to know, know it well through preparation, study, repetition- if you are say trying to be a better golfer particularly with putting you have to practice.

Write down a little history about the fear. What is it?   When did it start?  What factors led up to the occurrence.  It may be that this seems elementary and what’s the point, however as you go through this exercise you will note that as you are acknowledging this fear that holds you back from moving forward with a dream or goal you are on the road to owning it.  When you take ownership you are coming closer to knowing more clearly about the fear thereby one step closer to overcoming the fear.

For some this may cause some unwanted emotions to surface.  As uncomfortable as it may, be let it come to the surface.

Give your fear a name. 

Define items like when does it occur. Are there certain triggers that set it off?  Are they in your control?

What happens when the fear appears: anxiety, sweaty palms, chest tightens, can’t get out of bed, etc.

Once you have analyzed your fear and have its history and individual components about it including how it impacts you, now start overcoming this fear.

Desensitization. Sometimes it can be as easy as taking small steps toward the fear or touching, feeling the fear in tiny increments.

This happened to me with eating Sushi.  The thought of eating raw fish not only was disgusting but I was afraid I would get some sort of poisoning.  There was no way I was going to go near it let alone eat it.

A friend introduced me to California roll that actually is cooked. That seemed harmless in my eyes. I was  so so about it at first try.  On the second time I was alittle familiar with the taste and I actually enjoyed it.  As time went on I tried cucumber not fish but something different, then tuna, after all what was the big deal about tuna? Right?  So, over some time probably a year or so I began trying other kind of sushi and now really enjoy it.

It may be by taking small steps toward the fear you become more comfortable and come to realize that the fear that seemed outrageous in the beginning is actually no big deal once we really get to know it.

Take it head on  There are circumstances that lend to a direct approach especially if the fear is of immediate threat to you or someone you care about.  If there were a fire in your home and you were on a second floor you may not have a choice but to jump out the window even though you have a fear of heights or fear of falling that stems from a childhood experience falling off your bike.

It may be you have fear of speaking to a superior in your office about an ad deadline as he is intimidating to you or you may have experienced a confrontation in the past.  Your immediate supervisor is expecting a finished piece before days end and requires that you address the task with this person.

What are you going to do? Quit your job? Oh, I did not mention there is no one else than can do this for you.  Looks like the answer is doing it own your own and just do it.  Prepare first by knowing exactly what the task is, identify the goal, what problems or obstacles are there if any, steps to overcome them, and expected outcome.   Write a script, practice saying the script over and over and over again.  List any and all expected and possible responses from this individual and your replies.  Expect the unexpected so be flexible.

When you go to his office your hands may shake, be sweaty but the end result is you will have presented your materials, faced the music and while you may have hated every second of it you handled it and the next time and their will most likely be a next time you will handle yet. May not and probably not enjoy it and in the process create more confidence and raise your self-respect in the process.

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

two happy martial arts students

More About Belief In Self And How Martial Arts Can Help

With various influences by others in our lives the sub conscious forms a collection of attitudes, perceptions, and opinions about how we should relate to our world.  What can we expect from ourselves, level of achievements, etc?

There then develops consistent messages of acceptance and rejection of the information presented by our experiences that support this core belief system by our sub conscious mind.

Those ideals that are consistent are accepted as real and those that fall out of that schema base are discarded.

To alter your sub conscious recorder you simply need to re-record new messages and tell it what you want.  It won’t entirely delete negative information unless you fill it with positive input and what you think and behave reinforce that model.   Tell your sub conscious what to do and then let it go and not obsess over the idea.   If you spend too much energy trying to force the idea into your subconscious you will be in effect putting the recorder on pause.  It is like when you are trying to recall something such as somebody’s name and it is at the “tip of your tongue” phenomenon.  The harder you try to remember the worst it is to remember.  Then, after you relax and let it go your sub conscious kicks in and you instantly recall the name you were seeking to remember.

Once you program your sub conscious with a message try not to force the issue.  Maintain similar actions and reinforcing thoughts that are consistent with your overall desire of change or improvement.

I had the privilege to have a dad that brought his two sons into the dojo to talk about trying out classes.  This was during the time the ninja turtles had become a phenomenon.  One son was about 7 or 8 and the other a few years older.  Initially, the dad was inquiring for just his sons.  He expressed no interest in trying it himself.

After some discussion regarding each child’s current interests and area’s of personal development that each child could use some help with we spoke about the value for a parent to take classes with their children too.

At first there was a little push back resistance.  Some adults are apprehensive about learning martial arts for a variety of reasons.  There may not be any interest at all, dead, set against doing anything that involves exercise, often it has to do with fear of the unknown or “ I don’t think I can do this well” “people will laugh at me”, “I won’t be any good”, etc.

Sounds like a typical child right?  Aren’t adults kids in bigger bodies?

As it turned out George- the dad after some discussion agreed that taking class with his sons could have valuable consequences for their family.

After all being act fully engaged with something your child is interested in is a perfect way to support them.  Secondly, my experience has shown me that children whose parents are also taking class will have better staying ability. It provides a great buddy system of support so the kids have better retention and a source of motivation to keep plugging along.  They also experience a boost from the fact that “gee my mom or dad- sometimes both think this is so cool they are doing it too!”

Additionally, I mentioned to the dad that he will be surprised of how he will personally gain in addition to the bonding opportunity with his sons.  A great workout, increase flexibility, reduce stress, and learn valuable skills to stay safe.

Now, his occupation is in the medial field as a doctor so he agreed the described outcome of participating would be beneficial.

Being an accomplished individual in his field with a successful practice I was grateful for his candor reply one day after about a year or so of training with me.  We were having a discussion about how things have been going, what his two sons were enjoying about their involvement in the martial arts classes. I asked so “ George how has the martial arts practice been going for you, what do you think you have gained so far?  His reply,” Confidence!”  So I went on in what way has your self-confidence grown?.

“Well, he said I see it especially in how I interact with patients, staff in my practice.  I am more confident speaking to others”.  He went on that he sometimes used to feel uncomfortable and insecure when having to talk with others like patients.

Many people might be surprised to know that a person of his stature could be insecure or not sure of himself.

You see most individuals whether a child or an adult can realize value in a stronger sense of confidence even as a very well educated and a successful individual already.

Tip On How To raise Your Belief In Self

   Take full responsibility for what takes place that you do rather than placing blame on others. No excuses. 

When you blame others for your short falling or make excuses like “if Joe had not interfered I would have…” you are setting yourself up for failure. It is though you are dependent upon others for your success.  True, there may be others that contribute to your efforts like an employee, however when it comes to your accomplishments and your life –you are in the drivers seat.

This also means that you have the steering wheel and controls so you can accelerate or put on the brakes as you see fit.  Knowing that you are an independent source that has the control to put your life where you want it to be is very empowering.

With each decision you make evaluate the outcome and take an objective view point with what you came away with.  No doubt with most courses of action that you took there were both instances that were in your total control and some that may have not been in your control.  For future reference acknowledge both and use the information for your next endeavor. Save the positive items that you had control of and remove those that you chose that provide either no gain or were of a negative result.  Make note of the things that were beyond your control and make every effort to remove those items that did not contribute in a positive way.

Main take away is you have the power of choice.  By taking full responsibility for what you do or not do you’re confidence will grow exponentially.

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.