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 How Do You Talk to Yourself

The old saying garbage in –garbage out does not apply here its more like garbage talk in and garbage talk stays in.

Your attitude which can be influenced by your own self talk and where you are emotionally at any given time.

What you do or better said the outcome can and are often directly related to the attitude you maintain.  This can include your performance at work, relationships, creativity, etc.

This of course is all dependent upon how you see yourself.  What you say about yourself unconsciously is based upon a lot of input from a variety of sources.  You can count on that there is a bunch of negative input.  Unfortunately that build up of negative input does affect us so you need to continually override it with better input that is relevant to whom you are and striving to become.  Additionally, the type of self talk that is part of your daily habits can either minimize stress and allow you to better deal with it or can assist you with being more miserable with the affects of stress and literally become a magnet for stress.

No put downs:

I don’t know about you but I catch myself in a moment of doing something idiotic like forgetting where I put something and then calling myself a derogatory name or putting myself down.

The problem with that is that puts a negative piece of information in my brain that reinforces previous bad material.  While we all do a lot of stupid things sometimes occurring daily, it would be far better to look at the behavior or incident as an individual action and not about you personally.  “That was a silly thing that happened” vs. “I can’t believe how stupid I am”


Consider keeping track by writing down each time you say something negative about yourself on a daily basis for one week.

You might be surprised just how frequent you are telling yourself or calling yourself a negative name.

Stop the Negative statement that is coming out of your mouth immediately when it occurs. 

Rephrase the statement that reflects the situation and not you personally.  Another idea is to simply say” well if I do it this way… it will be easier”.  In other words find words and phrases that are about fixing an issue and not about attacking you.

Replace Self-Limiting comments and thoughts with “Possibility Thoughts”

How can I do it vs. I can’t do it.

I have noticed how easy it is for people to place limits on what they can or cannot do.  Sometimes for children it just rolls right off their tongue,”I can’t do that.”  It might be as simple as doing a pushup as an exercise during a warm up.  Once the exercise is broken done into smaller components like lay on the floor with your palms of your hands also on the, straighten your arms, and get on the balls of your feet. Lower your chest to the floor by bending arms and repeat the first step of just straightening your arms and get on the balls of your feet. Suddenly it becomes doable.  The same instance could happen for an adult that is asked to speak in front of a group of people.  First, start with the subject material and begin taking a part and memorizing a section of material to be presented and say it out loud to yourself, repeat it until it is familiar, take another section of material and practice saying out loud.  Then ask friend or colleague to be present as you say it out loud.  After doing this several times it will become more natural.

The next step is to ask more people to listen as you say your presentation.

You end up becoming better skilled and comfortable that will create a successful experience and add to your abilities and reduce the stress and anxiety that you would otherwise have

It is clear that what you perceive is also to a great extent what you will believe.  Therefore, it goes back to the “I can do it” verses “I can’t do it” scenario.  The old saying if you believe it you can achieve it is true.  Often time’s people limit themselves based upon some previous notions, beliefs, or simply an attitude that either they have grown into, maybe allowed others to help create by their opinions or statements to us.

Negative self-talk does impose limitations upon us and affects what we think of ourselves which equates to our levels of self-esteem.

How we view ourselves and the world that we immediately relate to impacts plus or minus all we can and will accomplish period.

The book most children read growing up “The Little Engine That Could” addresses this concept so very clearly and all kids get it.  It’s only as we allow others with their attitudes and their opinions and self-doubt place a cage around us with negative self-limiting results if we permit it.

With negative self-talk comes an increased level of stress or in other words we interpret how much stress we have based upon our attitude.  People that have a high spirited & positive attitude will more than likely view a difficult circumstance differently than a person with a sourpus, negative attitude.  Without a doubt the person with a positive attitude will see a situation as less stressful or difficult to deal with than the person who sees his/her world with negative tones.

This is not to say ignore bad things or wishful thinking is the magic pill, it does mean we interpret and what we experience plus or minus to a great extent is based on how we see ourselves and what we say to ourselves vastly affects the end result and can open doors of possibilities or close the door in our face.

”I think I can, I know I can, I knew I would.”  Jeff Ellis

“Self-Respect is produced by inner triumphs, not external ones”

The Road To Character by David Brooke

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 202-9848.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

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