INDOMITABLE SPIRIT CONTINUES

Jeff EllisThere were a multitude of light bulbs that began to light up for me in my head as I continued my martial arts training.  I had found something that I was now taking pride in and on my own without anyone else’s help.  I do not mean my instructors as they played an invaluable part of the equation. Nor do I mean the person who I will always be indebted to for nearly forcefully, almost putting me in the car and making me go to my first lesson, my cousin Mickey.  It was his insight and persistence that created the most influential decision that I ever made that has shaped my life for the better and contributed greatly to the person who I am today.

As many of my friends were taking steps to get ready to apply to colleges I had not done anything but occasionally wonder what I was going to do after graduation –that is if I graduated.

I remember during the summer after graduation there was a lot of buzz about who was doing what in the fall among a group of people that hung out together on those summer nights.

It was now that I needed to make up my mind.  It was not procrastination that placed me in this wait until the last moment kind of situation with what happens next.  It really was up to that point that I could not imagine anything beyond well, maybe I could get some kind of job- doing what?  I definitely did not have any skill outside of the skill of not applying myself.

All that changed with my training in martial arts. It literally helped open my eyes to whom I was and allowed me to actually see that there possibilities out there in the real world waiting for me to explore.

Through my training experience a variety of qualities began to unfold for me and one of those was an unstoppable frame of reference.  A sense of direction came out of no where and despite other people like my guidance counselor at school; my family all said I was not college material.  I still can picture the conversation my mother had with me in the kitchen of our home when she said point blank very sternly “you could never go to college” that summer.

Well, one of those light bulbs flashed on at that moment it was like a big flood light going off in my head.  I don’t believe I said anything out loud to her or anyone else.  Inside a great sense of energy raised up and from that moment I said to myself I am going to do something with myself and I am going to start by going to college… period.

This was a beginning of my first episode of utilizing indomitable spirit in my life.  That force needed to be cultivated and my martial arts helped me with that.  To that end, I relied on indomitable spirit a variety of times while going to college and graduating from a respected private liberal arts college.

Since that memorable experience that impacted my life I have relied on the use of indomitable spirit countless times to push through tough times, challenges, and gaining that extra push or verve required to tackle and accomplish an important goal.

How To Develop Indomitable Spirit

  1. First, by knowing clearly what you believe in and are willing to stand up for these principles. When you look into the mirror see beyond your physical presence. Who and what is the person you are and what is it you represent.  One way to figure this out is to imagine how you want to be thought of by others that you respect that know you.
  2. 2. Next identify one goal or purpose that you feel strongly about. Become fired up inside with an absolute sense of determination to do something about it. It could be a cause or need like doing a food drive to help those less fortunate in your community.

As you accomplish one task that was at first seemingly difficult move on to greater goals and you will see that each time that you successfully overcome the challenges that you are faced with in any situation worthwhile achieving as there are always road blocks, you will be become stronger and that rising spirit will grow, develop and son you will be on your way to overcoming the barriers that stand before you with any endeavor despite their first appearance of being impossible to overcome.

3 Get out of your comfort level.

Everyone likes the feeling of being secure, safe out of harms way.  Certainly the notion of self preservation stands from the beginning of time.  We like feeling safe in our space and comfortable too.

The difficulty for really being able to achieve great levels of success is being able to extend our comfortable boundaries.  You no doubt have heard the phrase get out of your comfort zone.  By pushing yourself and allowing others that support your mission and success beyond what feels just ok or satisfied with you will enjoy substantially higher levels of success and thereby greater satisfaction.

If your dream and passion happens to be helping others imagine by extending yourself just how much more you will be able to achieve and giving others much more.

How to get out of your comfort level:  Challenge yourself with goals

Identify something somewhat easy first.  Now add 10% more to the goal than you originally considered.

Give a time deadline to achieve it.  If it is reading books that are of interest to you or helpful like a motivational books figure how many chapters in the book and set a goal of reading so many pages or chapters a day.

  1. Identify a few key objectives that will fulfill a dream or goal. Consider reaching a little further than you first imagine.  Bounce the idea off a friend or colleague.  If A is possible could B be possible as well and can B bring about greater levels of success.

Join something or participate in something i.e.” running a race, or joining a certain class that will be challenge for you.

 

“The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.” ~  Dale Carnegie

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 202-9848.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back

MORE ON ATTITUDE

 How Do You Talk to Yourself

The old saying garbage in –garbage out does not apply here its more like garbage talk in and garbage talk stays in.

Your attitude which can be influenced by your own self talk and where you are emotionally at any given time.

What you do or better said the outcome can and are often directly related to the attitude you maintain.  This can include your performance at work, relationships, creativity, etc.

This of course is all dependent upon how you see yourself.  What you say about yourself unconsciously is based upon a lot of input from a variety of sources.  You can count on that there is a bunch of negative input.  Unfortunately that build up of negative input does affect us so you need to continually override it with better input that is relevant to whom you are and striving to become.  Additionally, the type of self talk that is part of your daily habits can either minimize stress and allow you to better deal with it or can assist you with being more miserable with the affects of stress and literally become a magnet for stress.

No put downs:

I don’t know about you but I catch myself in a moment of doing something idiotic like forgetting where I put something and then calling myself a derogatory name or putting myself down.

The problem with that is that puts a negative piece of information in my brain that reinforces previous bad material.  While we all do a lot of stupid things sometimes occurring daily, it would be far better to look at the behavior or incident as an individual action and not about you personally.  “That was a silly thing that happened” vs. “I can’t believe how stupid I am”

 

Consider keeping track by writing down each time you say something negative about yourself on a daily basis for one week.

You might be surprised just how frequent you are telling yourself or calling yourself a negative name.

Stop the Negative statement that is coming out of your mouth immediately when it occurs. 

Rephrase the statement that reflects the situation and not you personally.  Another idea is to simply say” well if I do it this way… it will be easier”.  In other words find words and phrases that are about fixing an issue and not about attacking you.

Replace Self-Limiting comments and thoughts with “Possibility Thoughts”

How can I do it vs. I can’t do it.

I have noticed how easy it is for people to place limits on what they can or cannot do.  Sometimes for children it just rolls right off their tongue,”I can’t do that.”  It might be as simple as doing a pushup as an exercise during a warm up.  Once the exercise is broken done into smaller components like lay on the floor with your palms of your hands also on the, straighten your arms, and get on the balls of your feet. Lower your chest to the floor by bending arms and repeat the first step of just straightening your arms and get on the balls of your feet. Suddenly it becomes doable.  The same instance could happen for an adult that is asked to speak in front of a group of people.  First, start with the subject material and begin taking a part and memorizing a section of material to be presented and say it out loud to yourself, repeat it until it is familiar, take another section of material and practice saying out loud.  Then ask friend or colleague to be present as you say it out loud.  After doing this several times it will become more natural.

The next step is to ask more people to listen as you say your presentation.

You end up becoming better skilled and comfortable that will create a successful experience and add to your abilities and reduce the stress and anxiety that you would otherwise have

It is clear that what you perceive is also to a great extent what you will believe.  Therefore, it goes back to the “I can do it” verses “I can’t do it” scenario.  The old saying if you believe it you can achieve it is true.  Often time’s people limit themselves based upon some previous notions, beliefs, or simply an attitude that either they have grown into, maybe allowed others to help create by their opinions or statements to us.

Negative self-talk does impose limitations upon us and affects what we think of ourselves which equates to our levels of self-esteem.

How we view ourselves and the world that we immediately relate to impacts plus or minus all we can and will accomplish period.

The book most children read growing up “The Little Engine That Could” addresses this concept so very clearly and all kids get it.  It’s only as we allow others with their attitudes and their opinions and self-doubt place a cage around us with negative self-limiting results if we permit it.

With negative self-talk comes an increased level of stress or in other words we interpret how much stress we have based upon our attitude.  People that have a high spirited & positive attitude will more than likely view a difficult circumstance differently than a person with a sourpus, negative attitude.  Without a doubt the person with a positive attitude will see a situation as less stressful or difficult to deal with than the person who sees his/her world with negative tones.

This is not to say ignore bad things or wishful thinking is the magic pill, it does mean we interpret and what we experience plus or minus to a great extent is based on how we see ourselves and what we say to ourselves vastly affects the end result and can open doors of possibilities or close the door in our face.

”I think I can, I know I can, I knew I would.”  Jeff Ellis

“Self-Respect is produced by inner triumphs, not external ones”

The Road To Character by David Brooke

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 202-9848.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

ATTITUDE

ATTITUDE

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. ~ Thomas Jefferson

How many times growing up did you hear something about attitude.  For me it usually was about my “bad attitude”.  Particularly as a teenager this topic became pretty common place.  Frankly, it was very easy and increasingly easy to place blame upon others or circumstances why tasks did not get done or an assignment / responsibility was poorly completed if at all.

Not taking full responsibility for my actions or consequences of my actions or should I say lack of action was a norm.

This course of direction was largely based upon my attitude.

What I did not realize at the time and am certain that for many people holds true is that my attitude about my life and others was really reflective of how I felt about myself.

Feelings of inadequacy, not measuring up, continually told that I was not good at this or that all played a part.

Once the internal characteristics of my self-image improved I gained a different perspective of my thoughts about who I was and what I did.  It also allowed me a renewed way to look at things and how my attitude affected what my outcome would be, but also the impact of an attitude has on others.

A positive attitude actually gave me strength whereas a negative attitude tore me down and made anything worse.

 What do you expect?

Attitude begins with how you feel about yourself and how you relate to your world around you.

For more years than I would like to say here (over 35) I have been asking the same question to all my students in every class that I teach martial arts to.  After we have finished our warm-ups that include stretches, crunches, push-ups I ask “How’s everyone doing today?”  I get the usual “ok, fine, good”.  I then ask ok whose doing great , raise your hand if you are doing great , what’s better good or great, so whose doing great raise your hand if you’re doing great”  What’s better good or great? Everyone at this point is saying GREAT! Then I say to everyone in class raise your arms and shout “I am GREAT!”

While this is a simple exercise and takes just 1 minute or so it serves as a terrific way to remind children and adults alike that most of the time we have a choice about our attitude.  This starts with what we expect of ourselves.

If we agree that most of the time we do have a choice about our attitude.  In a simplistic way try this exercise.  In our culture it is common place to ask people that we know how‘s it going, how are you doing, etc.  often it’s used as the same as saying hi or hello.   So it is a socially acceptable way of greeting.  Sometimes and maybe more often if you think about it the person that is asking the question may not really care about how we really are doing or would care less about hearing any details.  So, as most people you may say ok, good, getting by, or some variation as a response.  Certainly polite and socially acceptable.

This however is the start of reinforcing and projecting a certain attitude.  You see if you have an expectation of being great, terrific, outstanding, and you are responding with ok, good, getting by thanks, you are bringing yourself down and the message to yourself is inconsistent with what you want from yourself and it is not want you want out of your world right?

When you have a higher expectation of what you want out of life and how you relate to your world you must be consistent throughout.  So knowing that most people will reply with the typical ok, good, etc that reinforces an average ok attitude.  If on the other hand, you are stating I am great, terrific, etc you are reinforcing a much higher level attitude that is very positive.

In addition to lifting you up and reaffirming to all that you have this outstanding attitude you can bet it is lifting to the person asking because remember they like most others are doing ok, fine, getting by thanks.  They will want some of what you got.  In a world of constant mediocrity you are standing out and this lifts everyone around you.

For the next ten times someone asks you “so Jane how’re you doing?” simply smile and state simply “Great, thanks for asking!  You don’t need to jump up and down or anything just put it out there and see the responses from others and visualize what that will do for you too!  It’s lifting for everyone.

You will find that on days that you are not doing so great due to a cold, or perhaps you have something going on like a major deadline on a project that it will raise your attitude up and you’ll feel better than you would otherwise.

The main take away is that in most cases we have a choice about not only how we feel about what is going in our immediate life but also the attitude that we assume in the process.  Both will impact either positively or negatively the response as well as the attitude we carry as a result.

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

 

two happy martial arts students

More About Belief In Self And How Martial Arts Can Help

With various influences by others in our lives the sub conscious forms a collection of attitudes, perceptions, and opinions about how we should relate to our world.  What can we expect from ourselves, level of achievements, etc?

There then develops consistent messages of acceptance and rejection of the information presented by our experiences that support this core belief system by our sub conscious mind.

Those ideals that are consistent are accepted as real and those that fall out of that schema base are discarded.

To alter your sub conscious recorder you simply need to re-record new messages and tell it what you want.  It won’t entirely delete negative information unless you fill it with positive input and what you think and behave reinforce that model.   Tell your sub conscious what to do and then let it go and not obsess over the idea.   If you spend too much energy trying to force the idea into your subconscious you will be in effect putting the recorder on pause.  It is like when you are trying to recall something such as somebody’s name and it is at the “tip of your tongue” phenomenon.  The harder you try to remember the worst it is to remember.  Then, after you relax and let it go your sub conscious kicks in and you instantly recall the name you were seeking to remember.

Once you program your sub conscious with a message try not to force the issue.  Maintain similar actions and reinforcing thoughts that are consistent with your overall desire of change or improvement.

I had the privilege to have a dad that brought his two sons into the dojo to talk about trying out classes.  This was during the time the ninja turtles had become a phenomenon.  One son was about 7 or 8 and the other a few years older.  Initially, the dad was inquiring for just his sons.  He expressed no interest in trying it himself.

After some discussion regarding each child’s current interests and area’s of personal development that each child could use some help with we spoke about the value for a parent to take classes with their children too.

At first there was a little push back resistance.  Some adults are apprehensive about learning martial arts for a variety of reasons.  There may not be any interest at all, dead, set against doing anything that involves exercise, often it has to do with fear of the unknown or “ I don’t think I can do this well” “people will laugh at me”, “I won’t be any good”, etc.

Sounds like a typical child right?  Aren’t adults kids in bigger bodies?

As it turned out George- the dad after some discussion agreed that taking class with his sons could have valuable consequences for their family.

After all being act fully engaged with something your child is interested in is a perfect way to support them.  Secondly, my experience has shown me that children whose parents are also taking class will have better staying ability. It provides a great buddy system of support so the kids have better retention and a source of motivation to keep plugging along.  They also experience a boost from the fact that “gee my mom or dad- sometimes both think this is so cool they are doing it too!”

Additionally, I mentioned to the dad that he will be surprised of how he will personally gain in addition to the bonding opportunity with his sons.  A great workout, increase flexibility, reduce stress, and learn valuable skills to stay safe.

Now, his occupation is in the medial field as a doctor so he agreed the described outcome of participating would be beneficial.

Being an accomplished individual in his field with a successful practice I was grateful for his candor reply one day after about a year or so of training with me.  We were having a discussion about how things have been going, what his two sons were enjoying about their involvement in the martial arts classes. I asked so “ George how has the martial arts practice been going for you, what do you think you have gained so far?  His reply,” Confidence!”  So I went on in what way has your self-confidence grown?.

“Well, he said I see it especially in how I interact with patients, staff in my practice.  I am more confident speaking to others”.  He went on that he sometimes used to feel uncomfortable and insecure when having to talk with others like patients.

Many people might be surprised to know that a person of his stature could be insecure or not sure of himself.

You see most individuals whether a child or an adult can realize value in a stronger sense of confidence even as a very well educated and a successful individual already.

Tip On How To raise Your Belief In Self

   Take full responsibility for what takes place that you do rather than placing blame on others. No excuses. 

When you blame others for your short falling or make excuses like “if Joe had not interfered I would have…” you are setting yourself up for failure. It is though you are dependent upon others for your success.  True, there may be others that contribute to your efforts like an employee, however when it comes to your accomplishments and your life –you are in the drivers seat.

This also means that you have the steering wheel and controls so you can accelerate or put on the brakes as you see fit.  Knowing that you are an independent source that has the control to put your life where you want it to be is very empowering.

With each decision you make evaluate the outcome and take an objective view point with what you came away with.  No doubt with most courses of action that you took there were both instances that were in your total control and some that may have not been in your control.  For future reference acknowledge both and use the information for your next endeavor. Save the positive items that you had control of and remove those that you chose that provide either no gain or were of a negative result.  Make note of the things that were beyond your control and make every effort to remove those items that did not contribute in a positive way.

Main take away is you have the power of choice.  By taking full responsibility for what you do or not do you’re confidence will grow exponentially.

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.