MORE ON ATTITUDE

 How Do You Talk to Yourself

The old saying garbage in –garbage out does not apply here its more like garbage talk in and garbage talk stays in.

Your attitude which can be influenced by your own self talk and where you are emotionally at any given time.

What you do or better said the outcome can and are often directly related to the attitude you maintain.  This can include your performance at work, relationships, creativity, etc.

This of course is all dependent upon how you see yourself.  What you say about yourself unconsciously is based upon a lot of input from a variety of sources.  You can count on that there is a bunch of negative input.  Unfortunately that build up of negative input does affect us so you need to continually override it with better input that is relevant to whom you are and striving to become.  Additionally, the type of self talk that is part of your daily habits can either minimize stress and allow you to better deal with it or can assist you with being more miserable with the affects of stress and literally become a magnet for stress.

No put downs:

I don’t know about you but I catch myself in a moment of doing something idiotic like forgetting where I put something and then calling myself a derogatory name or putting myself down.

The problem with that is that puts a negative piece of information in my brain that reinforces previous bad material.  While we all do a lot of stupid things sometimes occurring daily, it would be far better to look at the behavior or incident as an individual action and not about you personally.  “That was a silly thing that happened” vs. “I can’t believe how stupid I am”

 

Consider keeping track by writing down each time you say something negative about yourself on a daily basis for one week.

You might be surprised just how frequent you are telling yourself or calling yourself a negative name.

Stop the Negative statement that is coming out of your mouth immediately when it occurs. 

Rephrase the statement that reflects the situation and not you personally.  Another idea is to simply say” well if I do it this way… it will be easier”.  In other words find words and phrases that are about fixing an issue and not about attacking you.

Replace Self-Limiting comments and thoughts with “Possibility Thoughts”

How can I do it vs. I can’t do it.

I have noticed how easy it is for people to place limits on what they can or cannot do.  Sometimes for children it just rolls right off their tongue,”I can’t do that.”  It might be as simple as doing a pushup as an exercise during a warm up.  Once the exercise is broken done into smaller components like lay on the floor with your palms of your hands also on the, straighten your arms, and get on the balls of your feet. Lower your chest to the floor by bending arms and repeat the first step of just straightening your arms and get on the balls of your feet. Suddenly it becomes doable.  The same instance could happen for an adult that is asked to speak in front of a group of people.  First, start with the subject material and begin taking a part and memorizing a section of material to be presented and say it out loud to yourself, repeat it until it is familiar, take another section of material and practice saying out loud.  Then ask friend or colleague to be present as you say it out loud.  After doing this several times it will become more natural.

The next step is to ask more people to listen as you say your presentation.

You end up becoming better skilled and comfortable that will create a successful experience and add to your abilities and reduce the stress and anxiety that you would otherwise have

It is clear that what you perceive is also to a great extent what you will believe.  Therefore, it goes back to the “I can do it” verses “I can’t do it” scenario.  The old saying if you believe it you can achieve it is true.  Often time’s people limit themselves based upon some previous notions, beliefs, or simply an attitude that either they have grown into, maybe allowed others to help create by their opinions or statements to us.

Negative self-talk does impose limitations upon us and affects what we think of ourselves which equates to our levels of self-esteem.

How we view ourselves and the world that we immediately relate to impacts plus or minus all we can and will accomplish period.

The book most children read growing up “The Little Engine That Could” addresses this concept so very clearly and all kids get it.  It’s only as we allow others with their attitudes and their opinions and self-doubt place a cage around us with negative self-limiting results if we permit it.

With negative self-talk comes an increased level of stress or in other words we interpret how much stress we have based upon our attitude.  People that have a high spirited & positive attitude will more than likely view a difficult circumstance differently than a person with a sourpus, negative attitude.  Without a doubt the person with a positive attitude will see a situation as less stressful or difficult to deal with than the person who sees his/her world with negative tones.

This is not to say ignore bad things or wishful thinking is the magic pill, it does mean we interpret and what we experience plus or minus to a great extent is based on how we see ourselves and what we say to ourselves vastly affects the end result and can open doors of possibilities or close the door in our face.

”I think I can, I know I can, I knew I would.”  Jeff Ellis

“Self-Respect is produced by inner triumphs, not external ones”

The Road To Character by David Brooke

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 202-9848.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

ATTITUDE

ATTITUDE

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. ~ Thomas Jefferson

How many times growing up did you hear something about attitude.  For me it usually was about my “bad attitude”.  Particularly as a teenager this topic became pretty common place.  Frankly, it was very easy and increasingly easy to place blame upon others or circumstances why tasks did not get done or an assignment / responsibility was poorly completed if at all.

Not taking full responsibility for my actions or consequences of my actions or should I say lack of action was a norm.

This course of direction was largely based upon my attitude.

What I did not realize at the time and am certain that for many people holds true is that my attitude about my life and others was really reflective of how I felt about myself.

Feelings of inadequacy, not measuring up, continually told that I was not good at this or that all played a part.

Once the internal characteristics of my self-image improved I gained a different perspective of my thoughts about who I was and what I did.  It also allowed me a renewed way to look at things and how my attitude affected what my outcome would be, but also the impact of an attitude has on others.

A positive attitude actually gave me strength whereas a negative attitude tore me down and made anything worse.

 What do you expect?

Attitude begins with how you feel about yourself and how you relate to your world around you.

For more years than I would like to say here (over 35) I have been asking the same question to all my students in every class that I teach martial arts to.  After we have finished our warm-ups that include stretches, crunches, push-ups I ask “How’s everyone doing today?”  I get the usual “ok, fine, good”.  I then ask ok whose doing great , raise your hand if you are doing great , what’s better good or great, so whose doing great raise your hand if you’re doing great”  What’s better good or great? Everyone at this point is saying GREAT! Then I say to everyone in class raise your arms and shout “I am GREAT!”

While this is a simple exercise and takes just 1 minute or so it serves as a terrific way to remind children and adults alike that most of the time we have a choice about our attitude.  This starts with what we expect of ourselves.

If we agree that most of the time we do have a choice about our attitude.  In a simplistic way try this exercise.  In our culture it is common place to ask people that we know how‘s it going, how are you doing, etc.  often it’s used as the same as saying hi or hello.   So it is a socially acceptable way of greeting.  Sometimes and maybe more often if you think about it the person that is asking the question may not really care about how we really are doing or would care less about hearing any details.  So, as most people you may say ok, good, getting by, or some variation as a response.  Certainly polite and socially acceptable.

This however is the start of reinforcing and projecting a certain attitude.  You see if you have an expectation of being great, terrific, outstanding, and you are responding with ok, good, getting by thanks, you are bringing yourself down and the message to yourself is inconsistent with what you want from yourself and it is not want you want out of your world right?

When you have a higher expectation of what you want out of life and how you relate to your world you must be consistent throughout.  So knowing that most people will reply with the typical ok, good, etc that reinforces an average ok attitude.  If on the other hand, you are stating I am great, terrific, etc you are reinforcing a much higher level attitude that is very positive.

In addition to lifting you up and reaffirming to all that you have this outstanding attitude you can bet it is lifting to the person asking because remember they like most others are doing ok, fine, getting by thanks.  They will want some of what you got.  In a world of constant mediocrity you are standing out and this lifts everyone around you.

For the next ten times someone asks you “so Jane how’re you doing?” simply smile and state simply “Great, thanks for asking!  You don’t need to jump up and down or anything just put it out there and see the responses from others and visualize what that will do for you too!  It’s lifting for everyone.

You will find that on days that you are not doing so great due to a cold, or perhaps you have something going on like a major deadline on a project that it will raise your attitude up and you’ll feel better than you would otherwise.

The main take away is that in most cases we have a choice about not only how we feel about what is going in our immediate life but also the attitude that we assume in the process.  Both will impact either positively or negatively the response as well as the attitude we carry as a result.

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

 

Another Tip To Overcome Fear Of Failure

Look at the fear as an opportunity

A fear in fact may be a signal that there is something that needs to be addressed.  Facing the fear with a positive attitude may result in advancing yourself toward a major goal or dream that you have.  Stretching yourself often is the best means for self improvement.

 Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, used to be afraid of public speaking, but now she makes her living by facing that fear and giving talks to thousands of people around the world.

So in the end, your fear may become your best friend when you turn it into something worthwhile thus rewarding to you.

Use these statements of affirmation daily to keep your reality of yourself in check and grow your belief in self.  Repeat theses daily to yourself.  It’s ok to say these out loud.  By doing so they become more powerful.

I will always love, respect, and believe in myself unconditionally

I will achieve whatever I set my mind to

I always find a way to succeed

I am capable of reaching my goal

I am successful and will live life on my terms

I see struggles as opportunities to reach my goals

Keep momentum.  Facing things we fear can be more than a struggle for sure.  There may be possible obstacles including you that get in the way.  Persevere and stay the course, remember the power of change is in your court. Do not by any means let it control you.

By taking on a task that takes you out of your comfort level will automatically raise your belief in self when you complete it no matter how small or trivial it may appear.

“Start a new beginning today and unleash your real potential and believe in who you really are and what you have the power to become.” ~ Jeff Ellis

“ What we believe about ourselves and about life becomes true for us”

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise  L. Hay

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

 

 

Martial Arts Confidence Keeps Children Secure

There is absolutely no doubt that confidence can go a long way in providing a sense of – and a posture of – personal security, especially for children. Your child’s self-confidence is what lays the foundation for his or her future health and happiness, both mentally and physically. A child’s confidence stems from the environment that they grow up in and how they are taught to perceive and react to their experiences. A household that can provide stability and security will also instill confidence.

Steps to make your child feel secure and confident

  • The most basic step is to appreciate and praise your child when he or she does something good or completes a given task. Giving him or her the required attention can boost his or her sense of security and self-confidence.
  • Listening is an art form in which most of us fail miserably! But you can’t afford to fail at it when it comes to children. When you listen to your children you’re basically opening the doorway to fruitful communication and trust with them. It not only shows that you care but also provides you with an opportunity to explain things to them.
  • Correct yourself in front of your children when you make a mistake. This will provide
    them with a positive frame of reference that teaches them to learn from their failures, correct mistakes, and make amends for their wrongdoings.
  • Build a bond with your child. Share and engage in activities with them. This will help your child trust you and feel secure around you knowing that you’re always there for them.
  • Express your love physically. As they are too young to understand complex human emotions, children rely on physical touch to express their love and affection. So hugging, kissing, and high-fiving your child is a good way to reciprocate their affection.

Karate builds security and confidence

You might ask how karate can help your child feel secure and confident. Karate is an art form founded on the values of discipline, hard work, motivation, and goal-setting. Learning karate allows your children to develop a sense of accomplishment through goal-setting, achievement, reward, and growth of knowledge, ability, and self-reliance. Your child will learn to compete in a positive environment with other children, which will not only boost
his or her confidence but also teach him or her to handle defeat constructively and with good sportsmanship. With intense training and hard work, karate will instill in them a sense of confidence and security that will last a long, healthy, and successful lifetime.