Another Tip To Overcome Fear Of Failure

Look at the fear as an opportunity

A fear in fact may be a signal that there is something that needs to be addressed.  Facing the fear with a positive attitude may result in advancing yourself toward a major goal or dream that you have.  Stretching yourself often is the best means for self improvement.

 Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, used to be afraid of public speaking, but now she makes her living by facing that fear and giving talks to thousands of people around the world.

So in the end, your fear may become your best friend when you turn it into something worthwhile thus rewarding to you.

Use these statements of affirmation daily to keep your reality of yourself in check and grow your belief in self.  Repeat theses daily to yourself.  It’s ok to say these out loud.  By doing so they become more powerful.

I will always love, respect, and believe in myself unconditionally

I will achieve whatever I set my mind to

I always find a way to succeed

I am capable of reaching my goal

I am successful and will live life on my terms

I see struggles as opportunities to reach my goals

Keep momentum.  Facing things we fear can be more than a struggle for sure.  There may be possible obstacles including you that get in the way.  Persevere and stay the course, remember the power of change is in your court. Do not by any means let it control you.

By taking on a task that takes you out of your comfort level will automatically raise your belief in self when you complete it no matter how small or trivial it may appear.

“Start a new beginning today and unleash your real potential and believe in who you really are and what you have the power to become.” ~ Jeff Ellis

“ What we believe about ourselves and about life becomes true for us”

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise  L. Hay

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

 

 

two happy martial arts students

More About Belief In Self And How Martial Arts Can Help

With various influences by others in our lives the sub conscious forms a collection of attitudes, perceptions, and opinions about how we should relate to our world.  What can we expect from ourselves, level of achievements, etc?

There then develops consistent messages of acceptance and rejection of the information presented by our experiences that support this core belief system by our sub conscious mind.

Those ideals that are consistent are accepted as real and those that fall out of that schema base are discarded.

To alter your sub conscious recorder you simply need to re-record new messages and tell it what you want.  It won’t entirely delete negative information unless you fill it with positive input and what you think and behave reinforce that model.   Tell your sub conscious what to do and then let it go and not obsess over the idea.   If you spend too much energy trying to force the idea into your subconscious you will be in effect putting the recorder on pause.  It is like when you are trying to recall something such as somebody’s name and it is at the “tip of your tongue” phenomenon.  The harder you try to remember the worst it is to remember.  Then, after you relax and let it go your sub conscious kicks in and you instantly recall the name you were seeking to remember.

Once you program your sub conscious with a message try not to force the issue.  Maintain similar actions and reinforcing thoughts that are consistent with your overall desire of change or improvement.

I had the privilege to have a dad that brought his two sons into the dojo to talk about trying out classes.  This was during the time the ninja turtles had become a phenomenon.  One son was about 7 or 8 and the other a few years older.  Initially, the dad was inquiring for just his sons.  He expressed no interest in trying it himself.

After some discussion regarding each child’s current interests and area’s of personal development that each child could use some help with we spoke about the value for a parent to take classes with their children too.

At first there was a little push back resistance.  Some adults are apprehensive about learning martial arts for a variety of reasons.  There may not be any interest at all, dead, set against doing anything that involves exercise, often it has to do with fear of the unknown or “ I don’t think I can do this well” “people will laugh at me”, “I won’t be any good”, etc.

Sounds like a typical child right?  Aren’t adults kids in bigger bodies?

As it turned out George- the dad after some discussion agreed that taking class with his sons could have valuable consequences for their family.

After all being act fully engaged with something your child is interested in is a perfect way to support them.  Secondly, my experience has shown me that children whose parents are also taking class will have better staying ability. It provides a great buddy system of support so the kids have better retention and a source of motivation to keep plugging along.  They also experience a boost from the fact that “gee my mom or dad- sometimes both think this is so cool they are doing it too!”

Additionally, I mentioned to the dad that he will be surprised of how he will personally gain in addition to the bonding opportunity with his sons.  A great workout, increase flexibility, reduce stress, and learn valuable skills to stay safe.

Now, his occupation is in the medial field as a doctor so he agreed the described outcome of participating would be beneficial.

Being an accomplished individual in his field with a successful practice I was grateful for his candor reply one day after about a year or so of training with me.  We were having a discussion about how things have been going, what his two sons were enjoying about their involvement in the martial arts classes. I asked so “ George how has the martial arts practice been going for you, what do you think you have gained so far?  His reply,” Confidence!”  So I went on in what way has your self-confidence grown?.

“Well, he said I see it especially in how I interact with patients, staff in my practice.  I am more confident speaking to others”.  He went on that he sometimes used to feel uncomfortable and insecure when having to talk with others like patients.

Many people might be surprised to know that a person of his stature could be insecure or not sure of himself.

You see most individuals whether a child or an adult can realize value in a stronger sense of confidence even as a very well educated and a successful individual already.

Tip On How To raise Your Belief In Self

   Take full responsibility for what takes place that you do rather than placing blame on others. No excuses. 

When you blame others for your short falling or make excuses like “if Joe had not interfered I would have…” you are setting yourself up for failure. It is though you are dependent upon others for your success.  True, there may be others that contribute to your efforts like an employee, however when it comes to your accomplishments and your life –you are in the drivers seat.

This also means that you have the steering wheel and controls so you can accelerate or put on the brakes as you see fit.  Knowing that you are an independent source that has the control to put your life where you want it to be is very empowering.

With each decision you make evaluate the outcome and take an objective view point with what you came away with.  No doubt with most courses of action that you took there were both instances that were in your total control and some that may have not been in your control.  For future reference acknowledge both and use the information for your next endeavor. Save the positive items that you had control of and remove those that you chose that provide either no gain or were of a negative result.  Make note of the things that were beyond your control and make every effort to remove those items that did not contribute in a positive way.

Main take away is you have the power of choice.  By taking full responsibility for what you do or not do you’re confidence will grow exponentially.

See How Jeff Ellis’ International Karate Centers In Strongsville & Avon Lake Can Improve Your Self-Confidence And Belief In Self.  Call Us Today At 440 238-9390.

Jeff Ellis has taught over 10,000 people that include children and adults of all ages in martial arts training.  Beginning as a teenager Jeff’s experience spans more than 50 years with martial arts personally.

Graduated from Baldwin –Wallace University with a major in Psychology.

Currently, a 9th degree Black Belt and a Grandmaster Instructor in Kwanmukan Martial Arts.  Using martial arts as a catapult to overcome difficulties and challenges that caused him to fail repeatedly as a child, Jeff has taken the secrets he has discovered that literally transformed his life to become a successful leader, serial entrepreneur in retail, real estate, event promoter, professional motivational speaker & author.

Jeff is on a mission to spread news to others about how they can learn to become the valuable person they want to be by believing in themselves and developing the right tools to break through the barriers that hold you back.

 

Jeff Ellis International Karate Center Logo

Belief in Self – How Martial Arts Makes a Difference…

In Martial Arts at Jeff Ellis Karate, we focus on Belief in Self!

Here is an excerpt from my book “Breaking Through Barriers!”…

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Undoubtedly, the topic of belief in self is a critical component in defining a healthy, enjoyable, and prosperous life for you.
How you see yourself will in fact be a deciding factor of what and all you will accomplish.
There are so many variables that influence how you see yourself as well as the value you place upon who you really are.
Too often people sacrifice or become willing to accept less than what they really want out an experience or life in general because they have heard the word no, that they cannot do something, are not good enough, big enough, not smart enough, do not have the ability to stated by others.  Sometimes it comes from parents, teachers, coaches, friends’ relatives, and the list goes on.
I see it all the time with children and adults in my martial arts classes and with how parents interact with their children.
Growing up children hear and see conflicting information  On one side they are told how perfect and beautiful they are as infants, toddlers and as time goes on.  Later, feedback depending upon source may be restricting or less than encouraging that introduces the concept of doubt.  Sometimes a parent or significant person in our life may think they are just helping us not get hurt; protect us from a negative experience.  Their intentions usually are in the right spot however sometimes the over protective actions can contribute to a questioning of ourselves and abilities.

Our experiences and those we relate to growing up contribute significantly to how we see ourselves and the level of self confidence is directly impacted by the culmination of all this naturally.
With all of the inconsistency it is no surprise that so many people young and old suffer from a low level of self-confidence and as a consequence a less than adequate belief in self.
The outcome as a result is lower standards of what one can achieve.  Commonly individuals that lack self-confidence will set their sights much lower with goals and aspirations leading to a diminished sense of satisfaction and overall happiness.  Their mantra is better safe than sorry.   This type sets the bar and expectations either too easy so as not to fail or out of fear of failure will not seek at all.  They are more interested in the safe and easy than engaging a more robust experience that does carry some risk of possible failure or setback.
What a shame to go through life and not take advantage of the true abundance that awaits us.
The fact is that you do have enormous abilities far beyond your imagination or anyone else’s too for that matter.  Truth be told you have amazing qualities that you do not even know about that offer limitless potential.
It’s all their waiting for you and what you accomplish and attain is a product of your self- belief system.
When evaluating your self belief system first take a look at what goes into your brain by the kind of messages that you send.   What kind of conversations do you have with yourself?  If negative strikes a cord especially when you have made a mistake or something is not going as planned or anticipated.
It is said by many professionals that your view of yourself is a product of your subconscious mind.  The question becomes what type of information is recorded and continually plays back that is determining in great part how and what you think you can accomplish.  So what messages are you telling yourself that you are aware of and subliminally.
Let You not be a barrier to your own personal development and successes that in essence define who you are. Reprogram that sub conscious because your self beliefs will govern your behavior.
Remember your belief structure is a by product of growing up as a small child and early years.  It continued shaping as a teenager to form your inside core of beliefs about yourself and your world you relate to.  In many ways we take on the beliefs, attitudes, and values from those who we were around mostly as a child.  Hopefully they were good ones.  Over time other influences take hold by the contact we made with persons like teachers, coaches, relatives that spent a lot of time with us.

So how do we build this at Martial Arts at Jeff Ellis Karate?

Come on in and find out!

Shihan Jeff Ellis

9th Degree Black Belt

Jeff Ellis Karate – Helping Children Build Self-Confidence, Discipline, Respect, and Leadership for over 45 Years!

 


 

Teaching Young Children the Importance of Respect

It goes without saying that respect is one of the most fundamental traits required to be successful both professionally and personally. Schools make it a point to teach respect for authority during a child’s most formative years, but the real education truly begins at home, with the parents themselves. Respect is a quality that can often be difficult to measure, and as such, difficult to teach. However, with careful attention, observation, and re-enforcement, parents can develop this key trait in their children quite seamlessly. Children learn the importance of respect at school and at home, and in group activities like pre-school karate classes.

Respect for people and things

Respect comes in a wide variety of forms. For example, children must be taught to be behave with respect for the possessions of other children. They must be taught a healthy respect for their elders and authorities. As a family, it is of paramount importance to develop a culture of mutual respect within the home itself. There are a number of great strategies that parents use at home for this purpose.

Perhaps the most effective way parents teach their children to behave respectfully is by being respectful themselves. Children typically mimic their parents’ behavior – good or bad, so being a role model and showing integrity, courtesy, and respect in their company are very powerful lessons. Whether it is simply being polite to strangers or being thoughtful and considerate of friends and family, with proper and consistent role models, most children gradually learn to deal with the people and environment around them in healthy, productive, and amicable ways.

Reinforcing respect

When a child displays respect, it is important for parents to acknowledge and commend him or her. Receiving praise and feeling gratified for performing a task correctly or behaving in the appropriate manner helps children of all ages develop self-esteem and self-respect, benefits they will seek to earn over and over. Highlighting appropriate behavior and good manners helps children internalize them. In some cases, a display of respect may even warrant a reward in some material form.

In some cases, it may be required to reprimand a child for inappropriate behavior. Choosing when to punish and when not to is extremely important for parents. Parents must understand that different children learn in different ways, and this may take time as well. Understanding how a child thinks and behaves is the first step toward choosing the specific ways and means of developing this fundamental and vital character trait.